Something can be said about being weary in just about every possible way. For me though, it doesn’t show physically (okay, maybe the use of profanity increases by something like 367%, but don’t quote me on that) to other people as much as finding me dropping the ball on some things.
Namely, the schedule.
My son is being assigned to a new school next year, and yesterday was an Open House event at 6pm – something I had looked forward to attending. I wanted to meet the new teachers, the counselors there, and introduce them to my family as I’m sure Catelyn will be attending the same school when it is her time to transition from Pre-K to Kindergarten. This was important in so many ways, and I dropped it, even after making special note on Monday that…
I have an OPEN HOUSE to attend.
I called a Hiatus on April 18th, this past Saturday, because that particular morning was the final straw that broke my proverbial back since this year had started. It was consistently one thing after another, and after too many nights of not getting a break and too many days of working to the bone, my brain’s had it.
Enough is enough, it called, when a tension headache the size of Alaska crash landed on the back of my head. I’m still nursing it, taking more Tylenol in this last week and a half than I have in about five years combined.
That’s saying something… 😐
The trip to New York and Niagara Falls never happened during the children’s Spring Break. Due to Hubby’s work, the schedule was switched to Delaware three days before Good Friday and there was nothing I could do about that. We had optioned not to put in Time Off for a personal family vacation so Bitworks could still do his job while I took the kids to explore various Castles and Forts.
That of itself is a headache – managing my two children on my own. They’re not one to listen to instructions (given by me) and prefer going in separate directions. While I’ve spent years wondering if it’ll make me a bad mother for wanting to tether them to me with 2 leashes while on outings (especially around large bodies of water or a steep slope), I haven’t yet because I’m so sick and tired of the frowns that other people have given other parents who have done somewhat of the same thing.
I have no problems letting my kids run loose and not chasing after them. They are to learn, much like the rest of us, that Mommy and Daddy aren’t going to come running for you when we need you. They return to me – to Home – and they will have their needs taken care of when they do. If I have to give chase, they lose privileges – like Tablet time or snacks. On some days, it was both. On others, it was both plus whatever else I can conjure up, like eating Ice Cream and not giving them any.
Some days, they lose all their toys. That usually involves fighting over a toy to the point they were pushing, hitting, and doing everything they can to hurt each other.
But I’m digressing.
The most stressful part of the children’s Spring Break was what happened on Wednesday Night when we were in Delaware. I’m not sure if Bitworks understands just how much I didn’t appreciate it, and I’m still stewing over it (thus magnifying the problem about a thousand times). It’s not often that I hold a grudge against Bitworks’ actions, but @#$%&, that one was just plain bad on my Pisces scale. It’ll be a while yet before I even work towards just shrugging it off.
And I’m rather forgiving on most things.
Can you believe that it’s Wednesday? I can’t. It’s been 4 days on hiatus, and I’m still working on getting myself to a mental space where I can focus on my writing. It’s slowly happening, here and there, but because I haven’t had a single moment to write productively for months (that post about Undisclosed Conversation being completed was it), all these ideas are fighting each other for some space, and I’m just a pent up ball of frustration and nervous tension that refuse to leave.
And all of that is bleeding into my muscles. I don’t remember having hurt this much in a long time. If ever. I’ll take giving birth to my 9lb 3oz daughter all by myself again… twice over… and following that up with my son’s 8lb 2oz birth over this.
While this one isn’t a total Hiatus like I pulled last year, it is still a Hiatus. I don’t check social media. I’m only on Tumblr’s dashboard to check AF Henley’s Guest Post: “The Name of the Game Is…” and taking notes to the various Asks and Tag Games happening. I’ve been tagged twice, thus far, and will probably venture forth to posting my own answers and things sometime this week.
If you’re sitting there rolling your eyes at my obvious fangirl-ship at the altar of AF Henley, well, keep on rolling. There’ll be many more to come. 😛
This week, however, will find me going back to the Hythrun Chronicles Series. As a Beta Reader, I had agreed to do a review of The Lyre Thief coming out in 2016. I want to get the reviews up and running for the six books that came prior to the next Trilogy before tackling The Lyre Thief.
First though, is the writing, which is a struggle. It’s not that the words aren’t coming. My fingers hurt. I have to give them some time to heal before I abuse them on the keyboard as most of my cuticles are torn and split. Until then, it’s negotiation with my story ideas and fictional characters about who gets first dibs to go on paper. Hah! XD
I’m so glad people can’t hear my thoughts very well during these debates. XD
I’m reachable by Email (firstname.lastname@example.org) but just so all of you know, I’m also reachable via all my social networking places that I haunt. If there’s a direct message, or I’ve been tagged, or anything that is related to being linked – Tumblr (Main Blog | Text Blog), Facebook, Twitter – they have all been set up with the service to notify me via Email… So I will get them.
I just hold no promises to my usual steadfastness in replying or returning the communication. I need to heal. I need to find myself again in this jumbled mess of existence.
⭐ ⭐ ⭐
I still think of you all, and love just as deeply. ❤